Every action we take comes from a feeling / belief that we have.
Fatshamers, abusive people, misogynists … they all behave the way they do because of a feeling / belief they have that causes them to behave that way.
Are they still responsible for their behavior?
When someone chooses to remain a victim it is because of a feeling / belief as well.
Usually a feeling of powerlessness and a belief that lends itself to lack of self worth.
But that is with in your control.
(Does it take work and practice and choosing to see the world differently? Fuck yes, it does. But the benefits far outweigh the difficulty.)
Stop giving your control to everybody else.
Taking action as a victim by blaming others and choosing to remain stuck is the same as abusing and manipulating and shaming because it’s all based on feelings and beliefs.
If you believe that an abuser is responsible for his actions then you have to take responsibility for your actions as a “victim” as well.
It can’t be that one is responsible for his actions and the other isn’t.